


intelligence and courtly intrigues

by kormantic



Category: The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
Genre: Elaborate Plans, Gen, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Recruitment, loyal pals, pals who may be more than pals?, royal pals, subtle machinations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 16:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21831442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kormantic/pseuds/kormantic
Summary: When a generous patron with no ulterior motives whatsoever suggests an internship with giants of the field, two friends prepare to study abroad. (Or: Lady Heiro and Lady Eunice get a scholarship to Spy School!)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	intelligence and courtly intrigues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prinzenhasserin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prinzenhasserin/gifts).

Although Heiro had described her as a ‘pretty girl’, the sobriquet was generous, subjective and largely untrue. A sturdy, plain, pigeonbreasted creature with a mottled face and small, close-set eyes, Lady Eunice appeared at once quite earnest and rather deeply stupid. She wore her dull red hair in a soft bun at the nape of her neck and was otherwise unremarkable. Of course, Heiro had grown up with her, and may have been the only person in the castle who knew that Eunice was in fact funny, scathing and devilish clever; she was also implacable once slighted, and amused herself by setting elaborate social traps for anyone who crossed her.

Once they’d been introduced, the king recognized her merits straight away.

“I take it we have you to thank for last week’s amusement? How unlucky for Baron Minos to run across his wife just as he was leaving Lady Artadorous’s chambers. Before dawn, no less. I know from experience that it is vexing to be faced with the consequences of one’s actions before a proper breakfast.”

The downcast, flustered look she’d worn since he’d asked her to dance sharpened into an appraising glance like sunlight focused by a lens. After a moment she said, “He called me a dumpy little sow. And it was only justice, you know. Poor Sontila. It was a love match, too. On her side at least. Minos is an alley cat with no more scruples than hairs on his head.” It was well known throughout the court that Minos shaved his head to the skin rather than admit to his lovers he was balding.

“As he has no idea that his assignation was deliberately sabotaged, he may well say that, or something like it, again,” the king suggested. “But I imagine you know the benefits of being underestimated more than most.”

Eunice shrugged. “Even I have my advantages, my king.”

“Indeed. Those advantages being spinsterhood in your brother’s household with a jealously regulated and pitiable allowance. The flower of your youth fades, and with it your prospects.” Eunice’s knuckles whitened where she held the King’s false hand in her own. “I would not lie to you.”

The set of her jaw and arch of one brow claimed she doubted that.

“Lady Heiro will be leaving Attolia soon, and while she is eminently capable, I would not deprive her of a friend when she will have the greatest need of one.”

“Leaving?” Eunice looked dismayed.

“Yes. I am afraid you are about to bring the house of Stadicos down on poor Heiro’s head.”

“Am I?” she said flatly.

“You are,” he said with in a considering tone. ”Heiro has told me that you are an accomplished linguist, despite a lack of formal schooling. Tell me, how is your Mede, I wonder?”

“Passable. Kamet was patient with me when I’d ask about my accent.”

“Patient? _Kamet?_” The king sounded surprised.

Eunice smiled a little. “You know him, then? Patient for him, I suppose. He did threaten to box my ears once.”

“Only once? You are now recommended twice over. It is not every noblewoman who would sit with a slave for lessons. And fewer students still Kamet would condescend to spend his time on. 

“Good lady, you strike me as a citizen who would greatly benefit from traveling the world. How should you like to start with a tour of the continent?”

“I’d say it depends on what you plan to ask of me,” she said, peering up at him – as slight as he was, she herself was shorter still.

“You will find a letter in your pocket. You are welcome to read it once you are alone in chambers, but you are hereby commanded to lose it at an opportune time and place of your choosing, the situation as artless or engineered as you feel necessary. If it will reassure you, you are free to have Heiro with you when and if you should read it.”

“Heiro admires you, you know. I think I’m beginning to understand why.”

“That is a high compliment, Lady Eunice. It is annoying that we’ve only just met. I seem to be making a habit of sending my friends away the moment I make them.”

“Send letters after us, then,” Eunice advised, as the dance drew to a close. As the music faded, a meek look settled on her features like a veil and she curtseyed, suddenly clumsy, hurrying away to catch Heiro’s hand. 

  
* 

The whispers rasped from ear to ear more quickly than the Etesian winds: the Lady Heiro was a bastard, discovered by a letter scrupulously written in her dead mother’s hand and addressed to none other than Ornon, the ambassador to Eddis.

Her father disowned her, publicly and snidely, with Heiro on her knees before him, silently beseeching, face pale, tearstreaked and resigned.

The court was hushed enough that all could hear the smart tap of new bootheels as Ornon appeared in the room and strode to her side, offering her his hand.

“Dear Lady, though this day one father refuses you, let another claim you with a proud heart. I was bereft when she left this world. Had I known you were mine, I would have done what I might have to bring you comfort and success, but in secret, lest I cause you or your mother harm. But now, please know that all I own is yours if you will take it. My manor, my holdings, my name and title will be left to you when I am dead. And while I live, I will treasure the society of a daughter, the child of the woman I loved.”

With his help, Heiro drew herself to her feet, clasping both her hands around his.

“Ambassador, you have my deepest thanks. Please know that though I am greatly moved by your kindness, I do not wish to ride past your goodwill with rushing. I ask a day and a night to reflect on what I have only just lost: my father’s name and my sister’s love. I would not burden you and your generosity without considering any harms I may cause by joining your household.”

“Already, you are more than I could have wished in a daughter,” Ornon said slowly, eyes shining. “Take any time you may need.”

From the gawping crowd, little Lady Eunice bustled forth to take Heiro from her new-sworn father and half-carried her out of the hall.

Secreted behind a lattice in an alcove high above the scene, Eugenides gave Relius a pirate’s smile.

“Congratulations,” he said cheerily, clapping the man’s shoulder. “It’s a girl! Well, two of them. You and Ornon will have your hands full, I expect.”

“Do you really think he and I can train them up in the month it takes to sail to the Empire? They won’t last three days in the Mede court!”

“They’ve lasted very well in this one, and you well know it to be a viper’s pit,” Gen pointed out.

“We’ll see,” Relius said repressively.

“At least her poor mother is safely dead. She need not fret this defamation of her character.”

“Defamation?”

“Seeing as I forged the letter myself, I can claim firsthand knowledge of its contents,” Gen smirked.

Relius smiled, just a curl of one side of his mouth.

“You have time and time again hidden the truth with a lie – in this case you told a lie that was in all probability quite true.”

Eugenides blinked at the secretary of the archives, wrong-footed.

“Ornon was ambassador when the king still lived. While Themis is an unfortunate reflection of her father’s manipulations and ill-starred lust for power, Heiro is the very picture of her mother, Calliana.”

“She must have been extraordinary.”

“She was that. Ornon would have married her, taken her from the reach of her husband’s cane, but Eddis--Helen’s father--needed him here. So they were contented to steal what moments they could.”

“Did she die in childbed?” Eugenides asked, looking oddly furtive.

“No,” Relius said grimly. “Heiro was nine. I am told… that Calliana fell down the stone steps at their estate.”

“Her body no doubt striped with the marks of a cane,” Eugenides finished, teeth clenched.

“I did not see it,” Relius allowed. “But I do not doubt it, either.”

“Then I am glad again to have them leave this place. And to give Lady Heiro two fathers in place of the cretin she had.” Once again, Eugenides clapped his shoulder, but this time his smile was rare and sunny. “See that you get him to bed earlier. He’s so cross when he doesn’t sleep well.”

Relius did his best to channel Ornon’s signature longsuffering sigh, uisually reserved soley for Eugenides. He knew it had pleased his king, as Gen gave him a wink before clambering into the rafters and jogging soundlessly away.

END

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun as heck to write - I hope you have at least as much fun reading it. I have always been fond of Heiro, and I hope she and Eunice show up again in the last book (oh, and Agape, too! Thalia! Ina and Eurydice! ANY/ALL OF GEN'S SIBLINGS) Your prompts were delightful, and I hope I've rung enough bells that the tune is pleasant to your ear. Have a majestic yuletide and a magnificent new year.


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